Alright, second post for the day. This time from a computer, not my phone.
Current status: Sitting on the couch, trying to get Netflix to work. I need to watch X Files. I bought myself a Dr. Pepper and I am ready to index and waste some time before I clean the kitchen and be productive.
I actually just got home from my errand running. Had lunch with my dad at Melty Way. Gobbled up a GF grilled cheese. He enjoyed a ruben. We then walked next door and got him a new watch band.
***We interrupt this program for breaking news. Netflix is back up and X Files is on.***
We then parted ways, back to work for him and Wells Fargo for me. August 1st, time to cash my paycheck. Then I made my way to Ikea. While I was there, I made a few notes. You know, important things I felt would be good to mention here.
1. Is it normal that I have every intention of buying everything for my house from this store?
2. Why am I walking along side these two gay guys, wearing Tevas?
3. Am I weird for spending a lot of time in the children's area, so I don't have to suck in my gut? Am I wrong to think that people will just assume I just started to show? Will they then look at my left hand and see that I am not wearing a wedding ring? Will they judge me? What is worse, people thinking I am pregnant out of wedlock or the fact that I know I need to wear a Spanx, but I don't?
4. Can you register at Ikea? If you can, should I consider being the last grandchild to marry last so that they have lots of money to throw at me and buy all of the furniture that I want? Is that too risky, because what if they aren't around anymore? Is it too much to ask of them to save a lot of money for me?
After I thought about these things, I made my way to the self check-out. I had two things to buy. Two of the same thing. It took five minutes before the lady would come over and help me get the stupid scanner to work.
On my way home, I stopped at "Sacrifice Point." This is a made up name for an area Aimee and I pass everyday. I parked like a creep infront of someones house. I then walked in the boiling heat and took a picture for her and sent it. She waiting too long to respond and give me the validation I longed for. But when she did, her response was laughter. That was exactly what I wanted. Mission accomplished.
The house was too hot when I got home. I changed into my shorts and turned on the air full blast. Now I am cold. Fail.
For the record, the song Radio by Hot Chelle Rae, will be on the actual radio and be very popular. I am calling it and would like it known that I did so.
Two fun facts: I didn't know that Minnie Driver was British. I like to walk on the blood that is at the bottom of the stairs of my apartment. I like to make up new stories, every time, in my head of how it got there.
The creepy old man was outside today. He ALWAYS wears the dirty blue jump suit. He wears no shoes and moves his feet like Fred Flintstone to make his wheelchair go. I am not sure if he knows what he is doing, but he creeps me out. I could tell that the two young girls that past him on their way to the pool, were creeped out too. I tried to say hi once, but he didn't hear me. How does he pay his rent? Hmmm.
The Three Little Turds are gone camping, until Sunday. I hate camping for that reason. I like playing with them whenever I want. Reasons why I miss them: Vincenzo refuses to call me by my name. It upsets me, but I think it is a sign of love. I tell myself that. Stinker Butt likes to slap me and climb on me. I like that too. And Sweat Head is usually just upset with me because I tease him, he teases me back and I don't baby him. He is so smart. He should be treated like the intelligent seven year old that he is. And well, I guess I miss the parentals too. They are okay.
Before I leave you, I would like to make something clear. When reading, please channel your inner Kevin McCallister. He is my hero and I like the way he talks. I also think that we are the same person. Everything he did while he was alone, I would do too.
Dub out.
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